


Lights Up Audition 2 Not-So Electric Boogaloo

by Fanimonstar



Category: No Straight Roads (Video Game)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Swearing, thassit - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:06:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26791858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fanimonstar/pseuds/Fanimonstar
Summary: Tatiana reholds the Lights Up Audition and gets cursed results.
Comments: 11
Kudos: 89





	Lights Up Audition 2 Not-So Electric Boogaloo

**Author's Note:**

> This is inspired by my own tumblr post, though I changed the astronomia part  
> https://supportanimy.tumblr.com/post/630676257433075712/so-after-the-whole-thing-happens-i-heacanon-nsr

After the recent events, Tatiana, wanting to redeem herself and NSR, reheld the Lights Up Auditions, now accepting artists no matter the genre.

So far, all the people auditioning have been quite good. There were siblings performing an acapella cover of one of Eve's music, a teenage girl with an acoustic guitar singing her heart out with an original song, and a man with impressive beat-boxing skills. She was surprised how much they all could power the Qwasa, despite having few instruments in the music.

Tatiana is hopeful for the next person, whoever they may be. They could be one of the most amazing upcoming star. You can imagine her disappointment when someone bursts in with an otamatone with a song she has heard from the younger generation thousands of times. A song which lyrics she wishes she could forget.

"Alright kid, you're too young to listen to this, and I'm too old to control them," Neon J says as he gets up to cover Yinu's ears.

"Hey, I'm 9! I'm big now!" she thrashes around, wanting to listen to whatever the cyborg does not want her to hear.

Eloni and Haym, the troublemakers of 1010, start screaming out the lyrics in tune with the young person's otamatone.

"TWO TRUCKS HAVING SEX  
TWO TRUCKS HAVING SEX  
MY MUSCLES  
MY MUSCLES  
INVOLUNTARILY FLEX!"

Neon J would facepalm at his sons' action if his hands weren't busy, and had a face that was not a monitor. "You boys don't even have muscles."

"I can listen to whatever they're singing! I know lotsa adult words like fuck, shit and-"

"Who the fuck taught you those words, young woman?" Neon J questions, realizing his doom too late.

Yinu's mother decided to watch from home instead, and if she sees what Neon J did, well, he may become a full robot.

Tatiana, knowing what's gonna happen, stops the auditionee from continuing their performance.

They groan. "Hey, what gives?"

"Your talent with the otamatone is quite good," Tatiana praises, trying her best to not crush this person's dream, and she gets an idea so it won't seem suspicious. "But could you perform a different song? We have children here. Also, you haven't introduced yourself yet."

"I'm Noor, and I'm playing an otamatone. It's not like I'm singing the lyrics. I appreciate those two 1010 members that did though. You two are cool." Eloni brightens at that, while Haym is just nervous remembering the inappropriate lyrics he sang in front of Yinu.

"Fine, I'll play a family-friendly song."

Noor plays the first note, and Eloni jumps again to sing along, with Sayu also joining.

"OOOOO NAK TIDO MANA  
OOOO NAK TIDO MANA"

"Tell the editors to cut that part out later, I am not gonna deal with a dead artist." 

-

After the performance, there was a lunch break scheduled and then the auditions will continue. Apparently, Yinu's mother definitely noticed that a part was cut and that wasn't the start of the performance. Also her daughter had told her what happened, so Neon J and the rest of 1010 (they're kinda like a hivemind so she blames all of them) won't be continuing to judge for the day. Neither will Yinu, since her mom does not feel comfortable letting that happen again.

"Hi, my name is Vivi, and I will be playing a cover of a classic 80s song that has survived through the decades, with an instrument that is very hard to master," the next auditionee bowed. 

"And what instrument would that be?"

"The recorder." Vivi blows hard and plays notes familiar to the younger artists.

"NO NO NO! YOU COULD'VE AT LEAST HAD THE DECENCY TO STICK BUG!" Sayu yells, likely being controlled by Remi. He presses the X button. Vivi did not budge.

"Oh god, why? Why are we still being rick rolled in 2020?" Eve asks the gods. She presses the X button, hoping that would stop Vivi, but she does not.

To DJ Subatomic Supernova, unfamiliar to the memes, he thought this was such an insult to a great 80s hit. The recorder isn't even a good one, it's the cheap plastic type. He presses the X button, and only then did Vivi pay attention.

"Wait, you? I was expecting 1010, but not you," she expresses her confusion.

"How dare you call yourself a master? That sounded abysmal!"

"I mean, I didn't actually say that I was a master, just that it's hard to master. It's true."

"What kind of logic-You know what? If you're not even gonna take this seriously, just get out."

"Aight, cap," she responds, before dropping an old mp3 with Baby by Justin Bieber playing, breaking Sayu.

-

After shutting off the music, they continue. Sayu had been broken because of Remi's murderous rage and the kids had to leave their glorified trenchcoat. The next few performances are mostly good, and some okay. No one tried trolling them again so far and that was good.

The next one, about five people dressing like they're from the medieval times come in with various instruments, most of them wooden and all are old-looking.

"We are-Wait what's our band name again?" one person asks, holding a lyre.

"We haven't thought of one yet, I think," someone holding a flute answers.

"You-you haven't thought of a band name?" Tila asks judgingly.

"Look, we're good at medieval style music. Just ask us to play any song," the first person informs.

"Pumped Up Kicks by Foster the People please!" Sofa shouts.

"You want us to play that? Alright then, no judgements," a member with a lute plays the first notes.

"Multiple judgements here," Remi looks to the video editor. "Why?"

"It's a catchy song."

"I feel like you're gonna try to kill us through this song," a look of worry is visible on Tila.

Dodo chimes in. "Could you guys lighten up? Maybe Sofa just wants to listen to some good tunes."

Meanwhile, Eve is googling something on her phone, ignoring the teenagers'conversation.

"Huh, this song sounds familiar, though I have never known the lyrics, or even the title. Pumped Up Kicks, huh?" 

The results show up, and Eve silently covers her mouth. "That is...slightly worrying."

Overall, it had been a good performance, and while the Qwasa wasn't powered up entirely, they still could make a career out of medieval style music, even if a small one.

-

"Hi, my name is Julian. I'm 11 and I want to express my feelings."

Tatiana looks down at the little boy. "And what are you gonna-"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" and the scream continues.

"Stop screaming, child!" Eve covers her ears with all six of her hands.

"No. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" he resumes his screaming.

Somehow, the Qwasa begin to be filled, faster than anyone has before. After only a minute, the Qwasa is already full.

"Come on, kid! The Qwasa is filled, stop screaming already!" DJ Subatomic Supernova covers his non-existent ears.

"Why did you have to break Sayu, Remi?! We could've got in there and mute the speakers!" Sofa scolds the artist.

"Well, I'm sorry, Mr Pumped Up Kicks!" 

"Argh! Where is security?!" Tatiana looks around to find them. "I have every mind to fire all of you for not doing your job!"

"Uhhh," Dodo looks in bewilderment when he sees a peek from the door of all the security guards passed out. The kid's screaming had also been attacks.

After a while, the kid just stops. "And I'm done! Goodbye!" and he runs away.

Right after that, a woman in charge of the list of auditionees stomped in. "I'm sorry, Ms. Tatiana! He somehow got past security and he didn't even sign up!" 

-

After getting over that last performance, the last few auditions are finally done. Except for one.

A woman who must be in her late-thirties to early-forties enters the stage with an electric guitar. "Hi, my name is Cass, and I'm gonna play one of the greatest forms of rock of all time! In my opinion, at least."

"And what would that be?" Tatiana asks.

"Christian rock!" Those words hit the CEO like a brick. She hasn't heard that genre in a long time.

"Christian rock?" DJ Subatomic Supernova puts a finger on his mouth, curious. "I'll admit, I don't think I've heard of that before. Probably because I'm not christian myself, nor was I that big on rock. I'm curious about what you'll perform to us."

"Actually, christian rock is pretty popular back in the day! You probably just didn't know that whenever it played!"

Tatiana stands up from her seat. 

"Tati? Where are you going?" Eve has a confused tone.

"I'm gonna leave. I don't think I'll be able to judge this fairly."

"Oh, Ms. Tatiana! Didn't you used to go by Kul Fyra? I've heard that your career was started by this very genre!" 

The silver woman visibly flinches. Then continues to rush out of the door.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, this became really unfunny towards the end.  
> Songs in order :  
> Two Trucks by Lemon Demon  
> Mengantuknya Mumia/Sleepy Mummy from Didi and Friends  
> Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley (obviously)  
> Baby by Justin Bieber (also obviously since i stated it)  
> Pumped Up Kicks by Foster the People


End file.
